“Have ever an open mind. Do not try to convert others to your way of thinking or acting. Avoid all interference with another’s tastes, beliefs, political affiliations, recreations, business affairs, etc.” -Theron Q. Dumont Advanced Course in Personal Magnetism The Secrets of Mental Fascination
It can be easy to get caught up in arguments or to find yourself trying to persuade someone to your way or thinking about something. If you’ve taken the advice of the previous rules of personal magnetism, then you’ve probably found the fact that people love to talk about themselves to be true, and we can often catch ourselves rambling on about ourselves, our opinions and beliefs.
It is important to stop yourself from doing this and to allow others to do it instead; let them tell you everything you need to know, and not the other way around. Being open-minded means to allow other people to express their thoughts and feelings, opinions and beliefs, without trying to correct them or to prove them wrong, and especially don’t try and cut them off to force your opinion into the conversation.
Give your opinion and your view on things if you are asked to do so and only then. At all other times, be a good listener and you will learn a great deal. Most people don’t want to hear your opinion anyways, even if it is a good one. The majority of the time they just want to hear themselves talking, and they aren’t really open to new ideas or views so never attempt to force your own beliefs upon them.
Don’t go out of your way to say or do things that you don’t agree with, but it is just as easy to refrain from expressing your dislikes and disagreements as it is to express them. If a friend of yours holds a different political view, instead of trying to correct them and then blurt out your views, listen to them and try to keep and open mind and really try to understand what they are saying before you reject their ideas just because their beliefs are associated with the other political party or whatnot.
Its very difficult to actually have a deep conversation with another person on issues that are considered controversial. It requires a lot of self-control and can easily go from a productive, intellectual debate to a full-blown agreement with emotions all over the place and relationships often get hurt, sometimes beyond repair. I find it best to listen, and if asked my opinion, then I give an honest response while doing my best not to be rude or aggressive or confrontational if my opinion doesn’t agree with the other person’s.
Most of the time the aftermath of an argument was nowhere near worth expressing your disagreement in the first place. You don’t have to agree with everything people say, but that doesn’t mean you have to be vocal about it either. Stop wasting your time and energy trying to make people think like you do and just focus on yourself. Who cares if you disagree? Unless its over something serious enough to cut that person out of your life, then don’t spend your time and energy worrying about it. Life is too short. You have your own life and responsibilities to take care of.
I remember when I first started my self-improvement journey I wanted to tell everybody what I was learning and I tried convincing all my friends to start thinking like I was and to do what I was doing. What happened was that I started pushing people away. Most of my friends didn’t want to hear it or they started to think I was a self-righteous asshole who did nothing but tell them about how wrong they were living. I wasn’t even fully living how I was talking. Most of the time I was just a hypocrite who had a long way to go, but I talked and criticized like I was already there.
I started repelling people away by talking and acting like that. I wasn’t being magnetic. Eventually, I saw what I was doing to myself and I stopped talking about it and I just did it. Sooner or later, I started to improve in all different areas of my life and my friends took notice and then they started to ask for my opinion or for my advice. That’s when I would tell them my beliefs and thoughts, what I agreed with or what I didn’t agree with and found it to be 100 times more effective because they were ready to listen, they wanted to listen to what I had to say.
That’s what I try to do here on The Eclectic Method. I talk about what I believe and leave it here for others to read because chances are that if you’re here on this website, that you want to learn and hear what someone else has to say. I find information that I think is true or helpful and I apply it to my method and then I share it here for other open-minded people out there looking to learn.
If someone is telling you about their religion, be open-minded and listen to what they have to say and learn from them instead of telling them what the followers of your religion believe or how they might disagree with the practices of that other person’s religion. Stop trying to make people think like you. Unless someone genuinely asks for your views and beliefs, avoid giving them freely. Its usually not worth the energy or conflict that comes from opposing ideas. Let people think what they want to think and go about your life.
To be magnetic, keep an open mind and listen to people when they talk. Agree with what you agree with and avoid expressing your dislikes and disagreements unless absolutely necessary. Remember to use PERSONAL MAGNETISM RULE #6 and be tactful in your social dealings. A lot of being magnetic has to do with avoiding negativity. Learning to avoid expressing your dislikes and disagreements by keeping an open mind without becoming a social doormat is a skill that can be developed and by doing so your magnetism will be developed along with it.