There is nothing so detrimental to the development of a magnetic personality as lack of self-control.” -Theron Q. Dumont, Advanced Course in Personal Magnetism The Secrets of Mental Fascination
Practice self-control. Nobody likes a person who has no self-control. They’re a hassle to be around. Its draining and annoying, and their lack of self-control makes you want to get away from them. Having a lack of self-control means that you can’t trust yourself, and so why would anyone else trust you? Having a short fuse, being too impulsive, and constantly becoming emotionally turbulent is the fastest way to drive people away from you.
Having the ability to keep yourself under control will command the respect and confidence of your peers. Think about the captain of a ship. Would you want to be a part of a crew that has a captain who has very little self-control? No, he’d probably get you killed, right? You want the captain who remains calm during battle and when in stormy seas. If you saw your captain lose it during times of trouble, wouldn’t it cause you fear? You couldn’t trust such a man and wouldn’t want him in command of the ship. No, you want the captain who is stable and maintains his balance in times of trouble; he commands your respect and confidence.
I knew a guy who had a sort fuse and couldn’t get a grip on himself when he got emotional. He’d often end up yelling at people over things that weren’t a big deal. Let’s call him John. John thought he was intellectually superior to everyone and he believed that because he was so big-brained that he was always right and that everyone should listen to him. When things didn’t go his way, he would often throw things or slam doors. It was pretty pathetic to see, as he was already 19 years old and was acting like a toddler.
Well, what happened to John was that soon all of his friends were no longer his friends. The guy he lived with felt uncomfortable around him, and eventually John had successfully driven himself into social isolation. People didn’t like to talk to him. Either John had yelled at them or they had seen him yell at someone else or they had been witness to one of his little temper tantrums. We gave him a serious talking to and although it seemed to work and he made some changes, it was already too late. He had already damaged all of his relationships and broken everybody’s trust, and sometimes that can be nearly impossible to get back. The damage is done, and all because of a lack of self-control.
Retaining self-control can save you so much trouble. Most of the time, the things we initially get upset about aren’t really a big deal, and often when we look back on the situation, we can see that it wasn’t worth the trouble getting worked up about it. A lot of the minor conflict we have with other people or just in life in general is a waste of time and energy to get upset about, and sometimes getting upset and over-reacting to things creates ten times the trouble that we began with.
Having self-control can take a bad situation and turn it into an opportunity. For example, in my post YOU HAVE TO ALLOW OTHERS TO DISTURB YOU , I was confronted by a guy who wanted to fight me and insulted me to provoke a reaction. I was upset, and I wanted to throw fists at the guy, but I decided to let my pride go and remembered a teaching from my grandmaster and I practiced self-control. Who knows how the fight could’ve turned out? Anyway it goes, its probably going to turn out for the worse, whether its win or lose. Instead, I maintained my center and left the bar with a friend and not an enemy.
Maybe some would say that was cowardly and that I should’ve fought the guy, and I’m okay with that. I was taught that the martial arts are to be used for self-defense and for the protection of others, and not as a way of proving that you’re tough or masculine at the expense of another human being’s bodily injury.
Having self-control will attract success to you. The person who has self-control with their spending habits and is patient with their investments attracts more wealth. The person who has no self-control and impulsively spends their money and is impatient with their investments often ends up broke or misses out on big money making opportunities.
The person who has self-control is a magnet to success because usually the only real obstacle in our ways is ourselves. Its our lack of self-control, our anger, our bad habits that cripple our success and keep dreams out of reach.
Remaining calm and controlled is almost considered a super power nowadays. If you know someone who has a lot of self-control, notice how you trust them and how you’re drawn to them. Notice how the same thing applies to others and observe how other people act around this person. I’m sure you’ll see how magnetic they are, how they attract good people and good opportunities to themselves by maintaining self-control.
Here is a little mantra from the book that the reader may find helpful.
“In the morning before you start out to your daily work or play, as the case may be, say to yourself, “No matter what happens today I am going to remain calm and not lose my temper.” Before going to bed at night think over your day’s actions and see if you have kept your word.”
Like I mentioned in the other Rules of Personal Magnetism, if you can think of a better mantra that would work better for you, then do so. Remain calm and see your magnetism grow.