If you’re serious about improving yourself, then you must have a strong dedication to your decision to be better and a true desire to change. Without desire and dedication to self-improvement or with too little dedication and desire, you will fail on your journey.

They say that a journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step. What is often forgotten is that you have to also be willing to take all the other steps in between the first one and the last one. You have to want it. You have to be all in or all out. You have to be dedicated.

My self- improvement journey has been a wild one, full of twists and turns, rises and falls. I know that the reason that my journey has taken much longer than it should is because I wanted to be better, but I also wanted to keep doing things that held me back from making progress. I wanted to have my cake and eat it too.

My desire was going two different ways, and I finally found the common sense to realize that you cannot play for both teams. Whichever desire is stronger and is fed more of your energy will win in the end. I have to pick a side if you want to see results.

It was as if every time I’d set out on my journey to strike gold, I’d get distracted by all the shiny rocks along the way. I would convince myself that shiny rocks were what I wanted, and I would forget what was truly valuable. I thought I could spend my time enjoying the shiny rocks and still get the gold eventually.

My dedication to the end goal was lost as soon as I visualized myself indulging in things and activities that put me on the downward spiral. I wasn’t being disciplined. I wanted to be physically fit, but didn’t want to give up a party lifestyle. I wanted to be a great martial artist, but I wasn’t dedicated to the work it takes to get there. I wanted to be a great writer, but I’d only write when I felt like it. I spent more time visualizing the next indulgent activity than I did visualizing the next step to take to achieve my goals.

The first step on your journey is the desire to be better then who you are now. The important part of this step is to have a clear mental picture of what you want. That clear visualization is important because other mental pictures are going to try and detour you from your goal. Whatever you visualize and fantasize about the most and associate emotion with the most will be the direction that your thoughts and actions will take you.

Say you want to improve yourself by becoming physically fit. You have to be able to picture yourself in your mind as fit and also be able to hold that image in your mind.Then when you have moments of weakness and visualize yourself going home to pig out on junk food while you Netflix and chill, you can concentrate instead on your visualization of physical fitness and remind yourself that being healthy and fit is what you want more. You give that give your attention to the mental image that you want to win.

You would be surprised how easily we can be pulled out of focus from our goals by the mental images we form during the day. When you get home from work and the first mental picture you have is laying on the couch with a remote in hand, snacks on the coffee table, and you experience emotions of comfort and security along with it, then what do you think is going to happen?

Are you imagining yourself as being better and imagining yourself doing the things you need to do, or are you visualizing yourself gratifying your lower desires? The mental images you give the most attention to are the ones that win. Instead, stop supporting that Netflix and chill visualization and imagine yourself going to the gym and feeling strong, looking better and try to imagine what that would feel like. Block out Netflix and chill visualizations and replace them with fitness ones.

The second step is to decide to be dedicated to that new mental picture you formed of a better you. You need to have a firm resolution and commit to the goal. If you form the image but you aren’t committed to seeing its manifestation, then other mental pictures that don’t support the goal will find their way into your mental space and take you down a different road. Be dedicated and refuse to give your energy to distractions. Take refuge in the Virtue of Resolution.

The third step is discipline. Its what keeps you going when you have a million more steps ahead. You have to force yourself to take all of those steps no matter how difficult they are. You have to persist. The reason most people fail to accomplish their self-improvement goals is because they are unwilling to take all of the necessary steps, or they lack the discipline to keep moving forward when the path gets rough. Being disciplined means delaying your gratification in pursuit of a higher goal.

The cover photo is me on my way up a mountain in my hometown. It’s a good metaphor for the self-improvement process. If I want to get to the peak, then first I must have a strong desire to reach the summit, because if my resolve is weak, then as soon as I encounter enough resistance, I’ll be making my way back down.

I have to be committed to the goal and make a clear mental picture of myself hiking to the top and imagine the satisfaction and pride I’ll experience when I reach the top. Then, I have to dedicate my energy to the goal. Nobody is going to carry me up the mountain and if I get distracted by everything that I come across on the way up, then I’ll never reach the top. I have to be disciplined and keep on the path to reach my destination.

Do you have a genuine desire to be better, or do you just tell yourself that, but really what you want is to give in to your lower desires? Are you willing to be dedicated and disciplined? All of these things are needed on the journey of a thousand miles. Do you want to reach your destination, or are you satisfied on the side of the road?

I’ll end this by giving up a secret about self-improvement. It’s called the journey of a thousand miles because it never ends. The process never stops, and that can be empowering or discouraging depending on your mindset. It can be discouraging if you think of it as exhausting and don’t have the mental fortitude for endurance, or it can be empowering because the journey is rewarding and it means that even when you fail, you still have time to improve and you can be excited to see yourself grow.