In all that you do, your aim should be competency. Most of us like to think that we are pretty competent, but you don’t really know until you’re put to the test. Sometimes we fall under the illusion of competency, and that’s because we haven’t been put through a trial by fire.
I was in a situation that tested my competency not too long ago, literally a trial by fire. I was on duty, discussing the days events with some of the guys, when someone from the crew burst through the door. He was out of breath, with a frantic look in his eyes, and I knew immediately that something was wrong. Before I could ask, he looked me dead in the eyes and yelled, “FIRE!”
Now, not many people know the seriousness of a fire in my line of work, but we train to combat them frequently, but this was different. It wasn’t a drill, this was the real deal, and I knew it was as soon as I ran out the door and smelled the smoke.
As a supervisor, I’m responsible for leading the first fire team to respond. So, I did what I’m trained to do, I ran to the unaffected space and dressed out in a full fire-fighter ensemble. I donned my mask, turned on my air, and grabbed the first guy to get dressed out with me and we took off back to the affected compartment.
When I ducked through the door, the smell of smoke was strong, really strong, and I had a moment of fear. I realized that I very well could die if the situation got bad. One wrong call and I could endanger the whole crew. One wrong move and this fire could get out of control quickly. That fear created a shadow of doubt, and doubt can kill you.
I didn’t get very far before I heard the announcement that the fire was out. I got to the scene and saw that the fire had been more smoke than flame, and that it went out as soon as power was secured to the affected equipment. We had gotten lucky.
We had a hot-wash with the watch team after the chaos got back under control. We talked about what we did right, what we did wrong, and what we needed to work on. I understood what I needed to do better, and more importantly, I understood that if I had something to fear, then I had something to work on.
I’m not talking about the natural fear of danger. I’m talking about the fear that came in the form of self-doubt. I’m not entirely sure if that doubt came from the natural instinct of self-preservation because I did what I was supposed to do, and I didn’t do anything wrong, but I never want to walk into a situation again where I am in serious danger and have doubt lingering in the back of my mind.
What I do know is that I’m going to keep drilling and training to keep my skills sharp. So, when instinct takes over, it emerges in the form of muscle memory from training, and the self-doubt is quieted. I don’t think the fear will ever go away completely. If you don’t have any sort of fear in a life-threatening situation, you’re probably a psycho, but I don’t want to have any doubt about my ability.
Sometimes we wait until its too late to be competent. We feel like work is unfair and so we give minimum effort. When that promotion comes up, it’s too late to prove our worth. A big project comes up and we spend more time learning about our jobs and making mistakes than actually being productive because a lot of our time was spent avoiding any real responsibility.
We get comfortable in relationships. We don’t do our best and treat our partner with the love they deserve until it’s too late and they move on. We don’t try to develop emotional discipline until we have burned enough bridges that we are forced to either change or be alone. We avoid our problems until we finally decide to stop sabotaging our lives and stop hurting the people around us.
We treat our health like an afterthought until illness or disease strike and the damage is already done by the time we try to turn things around. We decide we want to start working out when we are sick and tired of feeling weak. We decide to stop drinking and partying when we realize that it did nothing for us and now we are behind in life.
Competence isn’t always life or death, but sometimes it is. Stop waiting for a reward to be dangled in front of you to decide to be a competent human being. Pursue competence and know that the rewards will find you. Don’t wait to be good at your job until performance reviews or the promotion come up. Don’t wait to be a good partner until they threaten to leave. Do wait to be a competent adult until the consequences of avoiding responsibility shock you into compliance. Don’t wait to be competent until a trial by fire comes along to burn you and your inadequacy in a way you cannot recover from.
Don’t wait to be competent until its too late.
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