Despite the push from many different entities, the media, schools, etc., mental health in America seem to only be getting worse. You would think that with all the help from many sources and the increase in the number of people seeking therapy, that mental health in America would be improving, however, that does not seem to be the case.

That begs the question, why? Why wouldn’t mental health across the nation be improving along with the big push for better mental health? It seems like the world is only getting crazier, and I think I know the reason for this phenomenon.

I love reading about psychology, I have always been fascinated with the topic and I believe it was largely in part due to a desire to improve my life and understand myself and to understand other people. I’ve use what learned from reading books written by amazing psycologists to greatly improve my life, and I have been at low, dark points in life, however, I have never been to therapy.

I had a desire to once, in some of my darkest days, but I’m grateful that I never did. I am not saying therapy doesn’t work or that its detrimental, but I don’t believe that therapy is the solution for mental health, and I’ll explain why.

The psychologists I admire the most preach having a purpose, embracing suffering and determining a purpose for your suffering, being disciplined and being responsible for yourself, your actions, your thoughts and for your life as a solution for mental problems. I believe this is the best approach to mental health and that therapy should only be an absolute last resort.

Viktor Frankl, a psychologist who was thrown into the concentration camps during the Holocaust, endured what most of us could only barely imagine as the most horrifying human experience that one could possibly endure, came out of his terrible experience with a new form of psychotherapy, called logotherapy.

Logotherapy is a form of therapy that works on the principle, not of diagnosing patients with all types of mental illnesses, but in forcing the individual to find a purpose for their suffering and a purpose for their life. Interestingly enough, most of the patients who were successful with logotherapy, had their so called “mental illness” disappear and their lives significantly improve.

Frankl himself found a purpose for his experience in the concentration camps: logotherapy, the opportunity to help others and improve his practice, and improve the world, and that is how he mentally survived the most traumatizing experience as human being could have.

That’s not necessarily something you need to be going to therapy for, finding purpose for your suffering or for your life, unless it was to bring the idea into your awareness, it’s something you can do on you own, taking a deep look at your suffering and giving it a positive purpose that, despite the suffering it caused, can be used to make you a better person.

It’s about not being a victim of your own suffering, but to accept it and use it for a better purpose. It’s quite easy to be a victim and going into therapy is what a majority of people who do go to therapy use as an excuse to be a victim because that’s easier than being responsible for your own problems, you get to throw them at a psychiatrist and if it doesn’t work, then you blame therapy instead of your lack of discipline and responsibility.

M. Scott Peck, one of the best psychologists, in my own humble opinion, in his book The Road Less Traveled, claims that most human suffering and unhappiness comes from our tendency to avoid necessary suffering. In fact, the first three words in his book are, “Life is difficult,” and it is, and the problem it seems is that most people want life to be easy and then think that something is wrong, and their mental health suffers when they come into contact with the truth that life is difficult, plain and simple.

Peck lists the four tools of discipline that the reader can use to improve their lives, and none of them are something that you need to go to therapy for. Out of all the things he could write about regarding psychology in terms of self-improvement, he had discipline at the top of the list. A man who was a psychologist, a successful one, for most of his life. Think about that for a second. The four tools of discipline are:

1. Delaying gratification: Dealing with the pain and discomfort of life first so as to enhance the pleasant things in life by experiencing the pain first and getting it over with, so that you can enjoy the pleasant things without the pain and discomfort lingering on your mind.
2. Accepting responsibility: Be responsible for the situation your life is in. Don’t wait for someone else to come and help you or to take responsibility for your problems. You are responsible for your life, your actions, your thoughts, your suffering.
3. Dedication to truth: Be realistic. In order to deal with problems, you have to be truthful and realistic about them. You have to be able to self-examine to find problems, the roots of problems, and in order to do so, you have to be truthful.
4. Balancing: Be disciplined with your discipline. Delay gratification, but don’t make your life joyless. Be open to growth, but dedicated to the truth.

Discipline is something you don’t need to go to therapy for to learn. You can go to the gym, join a jiu-jutsu class, or yoga, and doing those things will probably straighten out more things than complaining about your life that you’re not taking responsibility for to someone who is listening to your gripes only because you pay them to.

Jordan Peterson, one of the most famous psychologists in the world, gained his popularity not by telling people to go to therapy but by telling men and women to be disciplined, get their shit together, stand up straight with their shoulders back and to get their own house in order before judging others.

Peterson doesn’t comfort people who play the victim, he calls them out on their lack of responsibility and discipline, and he isn’t afraid to hurt feelings with the truth. He’s a psychotherapist that isn’t trying to convince people to go to therapy, he’s telling them to get their shit together and not be victims.

Before you think you need to go to therapy, take a good hard look at your life and yourself and determine if your problems are problems that you are causing, avoiding, or problems that you are not accepting responsibility for, or if you’re dealing with something that you legitimately need professional help for.

Don’t fall into the trap of taking the easy way out and being a victim and placing your problems of someone else’s shoulders. You don’t need to take pills, you don’t need someone to tell you what’s wrong with you and diagnose you, when the most likely problem is a lack of purpose, discipline and responsibility.

You might be convinced that the problem you have is much worse than it actually is. Oh, you have ADHD, that’s why you can’t focus on anything. Well, perhaps the problem is that you don’t have a purpose to direct all your energy, or maybe you’re subconsciously avoiding the problems you have by constantly distracting yourself. Don’t be convinced by the media that you need outside help, when 99% of the problems you actually face are things that you can deal with by facing suffering and not allowing it to stop you from becoming a better person.

I believe that mental health in America is only getting worse because people don’t want to do the work and suffer to be better, they would rather have someone tell them you have this disorder or this mental disease, and have that excuse to give up and not be responsible for their actions, and for the state their lives are in. Oh, it’s because I have (insert mental disorder), now I don’t have to responsible for the shitty things I do.

Be your own hero. Don’t rely on someone else to solve your problems. Why would you give your power to save yourself to someone else? Being able to rely on yourself is a superpower. Give yourself an opportunity to be your own source of strength. The things you will learn about yourself, the confidence you will gain from solving your own problems is more valuable than gold.

Don’t be weak. Don’t be a victim. Be responsible. Be disciplined. Have a purpose. Do all of these things before seeking therapy, and if you give them an honest try, and don’t give up after failing a few times, then maybe therapy is for you. Therapy isn’t bad. It can significantly help some people, but just because you feel sad or depressed, or you’re unhappy with your life, doesn’t mean you need therapy.