I recently was told that a study had found that 3 out of 4 Americans feel lonely. What?! If that’s even close to being true, that’s just sad, and if it is true, then we need to start making some changes.
When I first started making changes in my life to be a better me, I was starting to feel lonely. I didn’t want to hang out with people I knew were toxic and sadly, I found myself surrounded by many of them. I started to find myself alone most of the time.
It was really nice at first, being mostly alone, but eventually we all need good social interactions. It’s a human part of our nature that drives us to socialize. The problem is that good social interaction can be difficult to come across if you’re not looking in the right places.
The question now is where do we find good people to socialize with? Well, first you have to figure out your vibe or the vibe you want to be on. You want to be around people that you can resonate with.
What I did, and I highly recommend the same, was that I joined a martial arts gym. Those are my kind of people, the kind of people I resonate with. You have to vibe with a tribe.
I love martial arts. I think martial arts are an incredible way to develop ones body and character and also a great way to understand oneself and others.
Most of the great martial artists I’ve met in my life are also people of great character. Those are the kind of people I want to be around. People who are hardworking and disciplined, and people who have a goal. Those are the ones that will be my tribe.
There is a special bond created with those whom you spar with, and it is powerful. As a sparring partner, you are responsible for the safety of your partner and also responsible for putting up a good fight so that both partners can improve. It involves a lot of trust.
We try to choke and kick and punch one another and then we all smile and bow, shake hands and thank each other. It sounds like we’re all crazy, but it’s amazing, and if we are crazy, then I’m glad I’m with my kind of crazy.
I don’t feel alone anymore. The friends I have at the gym give me a sense of brotherhood and then I go back out into the world to get back on my grind.
Maybe you’re not the same kind of person as me. Maybe a yoga studio or a regular gym would be the better fit for you. I don’t know you. What I do know is that joining a group with a common cause (self-development) is a sure way to rid feelings of loneliness.
It’s almost fundamentally human, to be united in a cause whether it was protecting a village or nation, gathering resources, or building a structure. Human beings work better together. The cause of my tribe is to become better fighters.
So all you really need to do is find out what you’re about, and then find the people who share the same mindset that you have or that you are attempting to cultivate. It’s that simple. Do something to better yourself and make friends who share the same values. Go out there and find your tribe!