I had a moment of enlightenment during my workout today. I felt so in control. I felt complete control of my body and my mind, and it was almost as if I could feel my Will, like a sharp, solid living thing. Thoughts of weakness and laziness were gone, not considered or even existent. I was in control.

While experiencing this feeling of control and strength of Will, I had a jarring thought pop to the forefront of my mind. If I had total control and my Will was strong and sharp and dominant in that moment, then who or what had control before? Who’s Will was dominant before? Was it not my own?

If there is such a thing as control of body and mind, and it is a thing that can be possessed, then in those moments when I don’t feel like I’m in total control of my body and mind, or I don’t have the necessary willpower to muster myself to do what I know I should do, then who has control if I don’t at that time? Who’s Will am I following if not my own?

I have been stressed out lately, I won’t lie. I’ve been tired and thinking lazy and weak thoughts. I’ve been doing things I don’t usually do when my willpower is strong because of how tired and stressed I’ve been. I’ve been watching too much tv, eating shitty food, avoiding the gym because I’m “too tired” or because I should rest because I’ve been so stressed out.

Then I thought, if I didn’t have control, if my will wasn’t the dominant one, perhaps then it was the demon of laziness and the demon of weakness that did. That was the uppercut of a thought I didn’t see coming. I didn’t search or contemplate the answer, the thought that it was a demon came to mind without effort on my part.

Now, I wouldn’t have had this kind of thought before, but I did now because I’ve been more interested in the idea of the reality of demons lately. I don’t think demons exist how Hollywood would make them out to be. I don’t think that demons are the red-skinned, horned beings they are often characterized as.

I don’t think demonic possession is always as extreme as the movies portray it to be. I believe it’s much more subtle. Demons are spiritual entities that need a vessel to live through, to act their will through, and that vessel is you when your Will is weak, and you are not in control.

I originally came across this idea by learning alcohol from a Christian man. Apparently, the word alcohol was derived from the Arabic word ‘Al-kuhl’ which means ‘body-eating spirit”. Now, I haven’t done enough research to validate his claim, but interestingly enough we call certain alcohols “spirits”. Why though? Have you ever given that some thought? I don’t know it’s true, but I have known and seen enough alcoholics to give it consideration. After all, the eclectic method retains that one should hold all ideas as possibilities until proven otherwise.

I know people near and dear to me who are alcoholics. It’s a horrible thing to see because the sober person you know can be a wonderful person, but when they get drunk, it’s like they are possessed by a demon. Alcoholics turn into someone who they are not when they drink and do horrible things, waking up the next day not knowing what they did. They “lost control”, but then, if they didn’t have control, who did?

I’ve heard the accounts of people who witnessed a loved one who was an alcoholic who laughed differently, smiled in a wicked way, or even spoke in a different voice. I’ve also witnessed such events and it is a bone-chilling thing to experience. It’s as if you can see and hear the demon through that person’s eyes and voice.

There is plenty of science regarding alcoholism and I’m not denying science, but perhaps consuming alcohol and losing your self-control and having no inhibitions was what allowed for the possibility of something else to take control or allowed it to use its Will to suggest to you to do something and your consciousness was so clouded by alcohol that you listened. You followed its Will because your own was too weak to overcome it, but the demons operate in covert ways, making their Will appear as your own until you wake up hungover and horrified by what you’ve done.

I believe that exercising and strengthening your body and mind and your Will has the power to weaken the hold demons have on you. It could be the demon of weakness that uses its Will to make you think weak thoughts and do weak things.

Every time you listen to it, your Will grows weaker, and your self-control weakens, and the demon’s influence grows stronger until you have no more control, and you think you are powerless. Well, if there was a power to have there in the first place and you once held it, what holds it now?

Every time I work out, I squeeze out the demon of laziness and the demon of weakness and gain back my willpower. I pump iron or hit the bag and reclaim my Will over my body and my thoughts. I gain self-control by exercising my will. Exercising is an extremely effective way to strengthen your Will. Doing difficult things builds willpower.

By exercising my Will, I regain control that I relinquished, and the hold that laziness and weakness had on my mind and body is weakened with every workout. Every time I strengthen my Will, I begin to dominate the Will of something else.

It’s a strange thing to think about, and I know there is plenty of studies to back the science of alcoholism and procrastination, and I’m not denying science. I’m proposing that there is a spiritual side to the science that we don’t quite understand and perhaps demons do exist just not in the way we think they do. What do you think?

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